What We Will Do Now

I really thought CCAA would cover at least 8 or more days this time...actually, I was thinking our worse case scenario was beginning of July.
I have been saying we're about 90 days away from our picture of Mattie since January....why? Because that's really what I thought. I thought we we would have her picture in March...then we thought April, then May, then June and now July looks dismal.
OK, I'm just going to say it flat out. We hurt.

So what I do at this point becomes a choice; it's not a feeling or a way of thinking. Denying how I feel is not honest, and trying to think differently is just fooling myself and setting us up for more disappointment. This is what it is; it makes no sense, it stinks, and it hurts. But there is that One thing that keeps me going...the same One that blesses so many things I do and has brought so many new friends into my life during this journey...and I can't imagine those people not being part of my life.
The following describes well what we've been doing these last few days...

God, my God, I cry out

Your beloved needs You now

God, be near, calm my fear

And take my doubt

Your kindness is what pulls me up

Your love is all that draws me in

I will lift my eyes to the Maker

Of the mountains I can’t climb

I will lift my eyes to the Calmer

Of the oceans raging wild

I will lift my eyes to the Healer

Of the hurt I hold inside

I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

God, my God, let Mercy sing

Her melody over me

God, right here all I bring Is all of me...

So hold me now

I will lift my eyes to the Maker
Of the mountains I can’t climb
I will lift my eyes to the Calmer
Of the oceans raging wild
I will lift my eyes to the Healer
Of the hurt I hold inside
I will lift my eyes, lift my eyes to You

by Bebo Norman and Jason Ingram